We All Need To Make This Decision.

Getting out and staying out of debt has never been easy for me. This last month was hard because it tested my faith. I was more broke then I have ever been and what was flustraiting was the fact that I was going to work every day but my employer kept screwing up on my paycheck. Before long a month had went by and everyone was angry because my creditors had not been paid.

I was going to work every day but I felt like I was working every day for free. For a solid month I had not been paid. But the circumstance had me faced with a discussion that I had previously had with a former co-worker. It was clear that the traditional jobs are no longer working for me. I can’t pay my bills if my employer doesn’t pay me.

So I started to listen to my friend and going to meetings. The people Isaiah introduced me to had made it a point to say that you can’t hold resentment in your heart and not be held back from success. Today I went to Kristina’s work and told her I forgive her. For months all I thought about revenge for the murder of my child, and it did lift a huge burden off of my chest. What goes through a woman’s mind to even consider terminating her pregnancy?

At any rate I made the decision to forgive Kristina. But she just looked at me like she was angry. I also made the decision to buy into Amway. I am just going to have to make it work. I feel like this is the chance to truly change my life. Today was hard because I forced myself to do something that I swore I would never do.

But the anger and hatred that I had for Kristina was making me sick. And people count on me. Besides I still love her. I just can’t be in the same room with her at least for now. In the meantime I hate Christmas not the birth of Christ but rather that social crap that goes with it. Like many Vets I don’t like people and I never feel welcomed even among friends.

There is a line in the movie Pearl Harbor that seems to ring true with all the homeless that I work with including myself, ” Sir, I’m not in a hurry to die: I’m just in a hurry to matter.” Being accepted is a fundamental need that every human has.

Today Jesse and Tori LaDeane of A Better Tomorrow Ministry seemed to get a bit concerned that the homeless people who they set up their table for seemed to be done eating the sweets. I explained to them a basic biological reality. As it gets colder the seasoned homeless will not only eat enough sugar to keep their blood sugar up, because your body cools off as the sugar gets used. The reverse is true in the heat of Summer. But everyone appreciated what they did for them. I should also explain that their are some social taboos that the homeless they well not cross, such as taking the last of anything. Ministries who work with the homeless need to keep in mind that how others see or think of you means the difference between survival and starvation.

Is has been month since I have been able to give out sleeping bags. But the donations have been appreciated. I refused to use this money to better my own situation, but I am getting back on my feet.

I do want my readers permission to forward your donations to another ministry. I need to do this because our charter says that the money must not stay in our account for more than a month. So please comment.

The Truth Comes Back To Haunt Us

As many of you may know, I enlisted in the FFL when I was 15. I was an Army Brat before that and I never learned to feel good about staying in one place. I still keep a minimum of clothing and it would take my a max of two minutes to grab my bag and bug out from any place that I am staying. After I lost Kansa, I went back to the same lifestyle that I have lived with for the last 30 years.

Until I met Kristina, this incredible women makes me want to stop running. But every time I would run I would flood the web with miss information so I would not be found. This practice started when I was working as a sniper for the 2nd Foreign Parachute Regiment. We made it a practice to tell Google that we were on the other side of the world so our target would not feel threatened.

Anyway to make a long story short, Kristina’s friends did a Google search on me to find out if it would be safe for me to see their friend. They found some of the back stories that were planted on Google so I could do my job. Well to get close to a target some times you must appear worse than you really are Kristina’s parents said it was forbidden for a grown woman to ever see me again. My past had come back to haunt me. But Kristina sees me often in spite of her parents.

The Bible sells us to avoid the appearance ofevil, well I was officially discharged in 2017. I am not the man that I once was. For a long time I told myself that my orders were just and the life that I took was for the greater good of humanity. But now I wonder if the Authorities who gave me my orders ever consider that the Sons of the men killed may not have followed in the footsteps of their fathers but may have been convinced that Dad was right after seeing his head blown off from 3.5 km away. My fear is that Kristina’s parents will never accept me even as a friend because the sins of my past have once again destroyed my future.

Anarchy Empowered was started because I now believe that government in even the smallest form is a threat to the welfare of the general population of humanity. The orders I was given, I followed blinded by the belief that I was doing the right thing. Then one day the image of my target came up in my visor and it was a personal friend. This was one order the I could not follow.

I went in to the hills of Afghanistan and let my superiors believe I was killed or missing. I then contacted my friend and we figured out that he knew that our C.O. was selling arms to the enemy and to protect his secret he ordered the assassination of his own operator. We had our C.O. arrested, but from that point on I was questioning every order given. That was my last tour of duty.

I became paranoid about when or if someone was going to use a satellite gantry to take my life while sitting in their hotel room in another country. So I kept moving for years. Never staying in one place for more than a few months and repacking my bag with every load of laundry. I filled the Internet with fake Intel to miss lead anyone who was trying to figure out how I was. But now all that stuff out there comes back to bite me in the ass. Be care about what Google says about you, people. It may destroy your chance for happiness.


Please Note:

A good friend of mine ran a background check on me one Kristiena’s friends started causing all this trouble by butting into our personal lives. She sent it to me to give to Kristiena, but I have no way of getting it to her. However, I know that she reads this blog. Kristiena if you are reading this the links below are the documents at might help change you parents mind about me.

Brianna’s Letter to your parents

Background Report


It is important to mention that this site doesn’t keep any donations for our own personal use. Donations are used to purchase sleeping bags, tents and nonparishable food items to be distributed to the homeless in the greater Portland Metro Area.

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Is The Medical Profesion In America A Scam

On August 10th 2017 I finally had a diagnosis for the disease that helped end my marraige. Doctor Cameran Coffee of The Vancouver Clinic took note of all the combined symptoms that I had been complaining about. He ran a simple blood test and his suspisions were confirmed. I have a genetic blood disorder called prophyria.
Acute porphyrias, which I have, primarily affect the nervous system. These disorders are described as “acute” because their signs and symptoms appear quickly and usually last a short time. Episodes of acute porphyria can cause abdominal pain, vomiting, constipation, and diarrhea. During an episode, a person may also experience muscle weakness, seizures, fever, and mental changes such as anxiety and hallucinations. These signs and symptoms can be life-threatening, especially if the muscles that control breathing become paralyzed. Acute porphyrias include acute intermittent porphyria and ALAD deficiency porphyria. Two other forms of porphyria, hereditary coproporphyria and variegate porphyria, can have both acute and cutaneous symptoms.

When it was out of control, my wife at the time was convinced by here family that I was making it up. Even thow she was there to clean up the mess. I was told by one doctor that a mass in my head was cancer and at the rate of growth, I had two years to live. This miss diagnosis became thought of as this horable lie among Kansa’s family and friends. But all the symtoms were there.

Two years passed and Kansa became convinced by here family that because I had lived the whole thing had to be a lie. Three years have passed and I am dealing with an incurable diease that would gladly take my life it I let it. I wake up vomiting blood and my right arm and leg goes numb without warning. I dropped our popcorn on one of Kristiea and My first dates because my arm went numb. But remember I am a liar.

It seems to me that thousands of dollars in medical bills could have been avoided and maybe I would still be married to Kansa, if the doctors and insurance companies didn’t scrach each other’s back.