Designing The Homestead

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Anyway as my Shrink has been working with me I am finding myself more and more depressed. I don’t know who I am right now and my life seems to be falling apart at the seems. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere.

I seem to be much more comfortable in the past rather than the present. I own the land in Oklahoma and I don’t need much to build a shelter. After all I do much better on my own living the life of a hermit. I don’t have any desire to help anyone anymore, I just seem to get hurt that way. On the other hand I am a different person when I am on my Meds.

My friend Charity tells me that I shouldn’t put too much weight on some label put on me by some doctors. It is funny, that I used to tell Kansa the same thing. I guess life is so much easier when you are looking in from the outside. Anyway I am planning my life around cutting off all ties to the world. I say this as I am planning to get up and go to church. I love this kind of paradox.

But at the same time my friend Brianna and her family think that I am stealing from them. I am just keeping to myself trapped in my head and scared of what will come for me in the future.

Much of what I see in my future has to do with getting off of the grid. It will be a while before I can convert the Pathfinder to electric. So to save money on gas biofuel is a good option.

The Myth Busters confirmed that the 2001 Nissan Pathfinder should be able to run on moonshine. Now how do I make it.

As I step away from the grid and turn my back on government in and those who constantly betray the freedom on the individual, I will need to learn to adapt to my environment.

As I have said before true freedom comes from knowledge and no government or angry mob can take knowledge away from you. The more I study, the more I am certain that I can make the trip to Oklahoma to settle on my land. Ironically the land in Oklahoma was the only thing that I didn’t loose to my wife in our divorce.

Soap making will free up other resources on the trip.

Once I get to the destination electric off-grid power will be needed.

Warning To All Who Value Freedom

The existence of an obsolete government is threatened by people who want to claim their God given right to freedom. The government is truly going to hate me once I get this done.

Life Goes On

I am still not sure what happened. One minute Nicole and I are going to spend our lives together and I was happy, the next thing I know, I am back in the Stieners basement in a nother state. But adversity is my bread and butter.

Once again one of my disorders scared off another suitor. I miss Dessy, Max, Lucas and even Harmony. But most of all I miss coming home to Nicole.

The accounts of the events that lead up to today are foggy at best. I remember Nicole kicking me out but she says otherwise. I don’t know what is real at this point. The one thing I do know for sure is that my knee is getting worse. I woke up in a pool of bloody sweat this morning. The symptoms tend to get worse with stress.

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All that I know is that I never meant to hurt anyone. But things are in the past and I can’t dwell on the it. So I reflect on what went right and pray that I can stand on my knee come morning. I have been neglecting my duties with Anarchy Empowered because Nicole had me so busy. So I am working over time to catch up.

Multiple personalities, is not fun. I loose time and can get in trouble at work. Is it any wonder that so many mental patents are homeless? If it wasn’t for the Stieners I would be right now.

Nicole fought a lot about ethics and morality. But if I was in the same position would I still be on my soap box? Maybe there are the grey areas that she always talked about.


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