Many times in my life I have felt a need to just drop whatever I was doing at the time and pick up my life and start over.
My life has always been mobile so as to go wherever the Lord of mycreation might will me to go. Today it is almost 10am. I am sitting in the the second to the front row of the lef t side. People are slowly coming in and I am glad to be here. I am hungry and I am scared that this cycle will not come to an end. I have no food and no where to turn for help.
I remember a simular incident happened when Doug was still alive. My ex-wife Kansa decided to spend our entire food budget for the
month on a fad diet that our friend Doug got her into. She asked me not to eat it. Out of respect for my wife at the time I went without food until I just couldn’t any longer. I came in to the house ignored both my friend and my wife and went straight to bed. I did this for three days. Finally Doug told Kansa to go and talk to me. I asked Kansa if she meant to kill me. I explained to her that she set none of our food budget aside for food that I was aloud to eat.
I explained to her that Rent to Doug the car payment must come first and what is left over is what we use to buy good. Tears filled her eyes and she apologized. She then asked Doug to help her fix me something to eat. I realize years later that she just never loved me.
After being told that I had cancer all she wanted to do was plan her escape. Was I that much of an ass that she would just decide to file for a divorce? No the truth is her family played a big role in that. I left the church because I couldn’t reconcile a Mormon who was sealed in the temple for time and all eternity just deciding one day to up and leave her husband.
But the last month or so I have felt a need to go back. I was taken back to learn of the death of Thomas S. Monson, that is its self struck me as a season of new beginnings. I am glad to be back. My plans for Christmas have been up in the air since Kansa walked out, but God finds something for me to do.